Hello, my name is Michael and I'm an Internet Addict...

Last post: "Standing Outside a Broken Phone Booth with Money in my Hand" by Primitive Radio Gods

"I know what to do when you are staring at a screen
That says fatal error 642 you don't know what it means
You bang the keyboard, throw the mouse, and scream like a banshee
Your tiny brain has failed (NO) so now you must call me"

I am truly addicted to the internet. Every aspect of my life, professional, social, entertainment, and such are dependent on access.

"Please help me get on the information highway
I seem to be stuck in my virtual driveway
No help me first, I am in great despair"

Here is the current situation: My next-door neighbors are having their driveway replaced. Now the contractors did take the precaution of checking for lines, and I did see the markings and flags. However they were told the phone line was 3 feet underground, not the 3 inches it actually was. Of course this little event has to occur on the May long weekend. Sunday they cut the line, today (Monday) a friendly Telus tech arrives and makes a temporary fix, but a crew will be out tomorrow (hopefully) to do a permanent fix and bury it again.

The result, so far, was 24 hours without internet access. At first it was more the concern about not getting e-mail. I am reliant on it for most of my communication with my current source of income, so that is a genuine concern. But as I woke up this morning, unable to check my usual sites and web-comics, I found myself more irritated and frustrated. I actually found myself going for a walk around the neighborhood with my PSP looking for an open wireless connection (which did not take long).

"When I walk in the room
People they do bow
For I am the guy with computer know-how"

Of course, the only e-mail I had was a message from facebook, and I really haven't missed anything. Still, not being able to check. It was also frustrating not being able to do anything about it. I'm used to fixing peoples' computer troubles. There's also the issue that I will lose it again, hopefully temporarily, when they return to fix the line. I guess I'll have to get my fix tonight.

Prepare to launch

Last post: "Auld lang syne" by Robert Burns

"Am I alive or thoughts that drift away?
Does summer come for everyone?
Can humans do what prophets say?
If I die before I learn to speak
Can money pay for all the days I lived awake
But half asleep?"

We're in the final stretch now with two more weeks of classes. I'm doing well, despite volunteering for an extra task. My final project is complete, my portfolio DVD is getting close, and I have my internship information. I really don't know what is going to happen next, which is a rather strange feeling. I haven't had a lot of time to think about it, but that time is coming soon. I've been preparing, but can I be fully prepared?

"A life is time, they teach you growing up
The seconds ticking killed us all
A million years before the fall
You ride the waves and don't ask where they go"

I've been thinking about the wrong things, really. Obsessed about potential love, which isn't real. Hopefully the internship and coming job search will take my mind off of all that. I still need focus to finish up these last couple weeks. I am looking forward to the grad show, which I've been a part of. Hopefully that too will go well.

I've been watching The Office a lot. There is this constant theme of unrequited love, so I really identify with Jim. It's also a very funny show and I highly recommend it to anyone who actually reads this.

"I've been downhearted baby
Ever since the day we met"

Year in review

Last post: “An Angel Returned” by Trans-Siberian Orchestra

"Should auld acquaintance be forgot,
and never brought to mind?
Should auld acquaintance be forgot,
And days o' auld lang syne"

11:00 pm, December 31. Alone at home. Seems like a good time to consider everything.

I have discussed this with a few people; this should have been a great year. Between school and work, I've had some great experiences. I've been to Jasper for work, and Athabasca for part of a school project. I've met some minor celebrities and seen some incredible and inspiring speakers all while being paid to run camera for Sharps. Both work and school have sent me to some interesting locations in and around Edmonton, including the Shaw Conference Center, the Agricom, the Jubilee Auditorium, all four MacEwan campuses, and even the Ukrainian Cultural Village.

I have also made some new friends at school, work, and as part of my network of friends. In addition, I met the some of the fantastic volunteers from the Second Chance Animal Rescue Society. I produced two videos for them that they have already put to good use. I also produced a music video for a great local band, Automata. I hope to become more involved with both groups over the next year.

Between school, work, and friends, I have been to all kinds of parties. From countless Friday Feasts to a drunken college party, I've been more social than ever. Sharps has been great for the parties, what with the golf tournament, the dinner at the SCC, and the Christmas party. I even played videographer for a friend's wedding, and DJ at another party.

The experience at school proved quite useful for my summer job at Sharps. I was on camera (and in Jasper) a week after I started and proved my worth. In return, the experience at Sharps has proven invaluable at school. I have, by far, the most technical experience of any of my classmates and put it to good use in several shoots including organizing a shooting blitz in studio 1 over the Remembrance Day long weekend.

" We twa hae paidl’d in the burn,
frae morning sun till dine;
But seas between us braid hae roar’d
sin’ auld lang syne."

Amongst all that, I was dealt a crushing blow. A major change to my life that radically altered my intentions for the future, as well as leaving me lonely. I hate the fact that I feel lonely even though I have so many good friends. As I enter the new year, I know I have to leave that all behind. I know it has been for the best. Already lives are changing and getting better, and this is a good thing.

"And there’s a hand, my trusty fiere!
And gies a hand o’ thine!
And we’ll tak a right gude-willie-waught,
for auld lang syne."

2007: 2 stars out of 5. It should have been 5, though.

Remember the good, forget the bad. No regrets.

Christmas Time is Here

Last post: “Mr. Roboto” by Styx

“An angel returned
That night through the sky
But time it was short
He had to decide

And so as he flew
Back over the land
A gift for his Lord
Was there in his hand”

So with Christmas comes a break in the insane routine. I managed to get everything done with, at least, some competence. I guess I’ll always think I could’ve done more, but at the time it was about getting stuff done. I must admit, I admire the resolve of some of my classmates who managed to complete projects within hours, or even minutes, of them being due. Of course, I didn’t lose nearly as much sleep as they did.

“Listen to the bells as they ring
Listen to the message they bring
Listen to the sound
As they sing as one voice in the night

Hoping that we'll all understand
Every dream we have's in our hands
And for every bell
May they ring all through the night”

I haven’t put a lot of thought into Christmas this year, as I haven’t had much time. I have no decorations, no tree (no room), no presents anyway, and no one to share it with. This isn’t exactly new as my family weren’t ideal Christmas companions. I’ll spend some extra time with my Dad and try to hang out with any friends who are around.

“Kyrie among nations
Kyrie among nations
Kyrie among nations
Hear the bells ring through the night”

At least I’ve regained my appreciation of Christmas music. I got rather sick of it during my tenure at Wal-Mart.

Just a Geek?

Last post: "Wreck of the Edmund Fitzgerald" by Gordon Lightfoot
(But you knew that one already)

"I've got a secret I've been hiding under my skin
My heart is human, my blood is boiling, my brain I.B.M.
So if you see me acting strangely, don't be surprised
I'm just a man who needed someone, and somewhere to hide
To keep me alive"

My geekness is increasing, which is pretty impressive when you think about it. Current examples are:

I'm using Star Wars and Monty Python for a couple of projects at school.
My current desktop wallpaper is Final Fantasy VII.
I've been playing both the Star Wars RPG and the Star Wars Pocketmodels game.

There's more, but suffice it to say I've become quite the geek. A good friend of mine worries that girls would not like his geekness. I have not previously been too concerned about that, mostly because I was firmly attached. Things change.

"I'm not a robot without emotions-I'm not what you see
I've come to help you with your problems, so we can be free
I'm not a hero, I'm not a saviour, forget what you know
I'm just a man whose circumstances went beyond his control"

I suppose I shouldn't worry. Chances are I'm not going to meet anyone anytime soon. Should I be so fortunate, she'll just have to learn to understand my geekness. Or better yet, maybe I can meet a geek girl. It has been known to happen.

Although, chances are...

There is a lot to enjoy about being a geek. It's mostly about the games, though. Despite my constant time crunch, I am managing to get some gaming time in. Not video games, though. I kinda miss them, but lately there haven't been a lot of new games I would actually want. Of course, I don't really have the time or the money for new games, not to mention the new game systems. Still, it would be nice to indulge again.

Lake Huron rolls, Superior sings

Last post: "Have You Ever Needed Someone so Bad?" by Def Leppard

"The legend lives on from the Chippewa on down
Of the big lake they called 'Gitche Gumee'
The lake, it is said, never gives up her dead
When the skies of November turn gloomy
With a load of iron ore twenty-six thousand tons more
Than the Edmund Fitzgerald weighed empty.
That good ship and true was a bone to be chewed
When the gales of November came early."

32 years ago today.

"In a musty old hall in Detroit they prayed,
In the Maritime Sailors' Cathedral.
The church bell chimed till it rang twenty-nine times
For each man on the Edmund Fitzgerald.
The legend lives on from the Chippewa on down
Of the big lake they call 'Gitche Gumee'.
Superior, they said, never gives up her dead
When the gales of November come early!"

I mean, when else would I be able to post these lyrics?

I used to hear this song at least once a day over Wal-Mart radio. I sure don't miss that. Wal-Mart radio made me hate Christmas music for a long time.

Time, Love, and The Big Mall

Last post: “This Ain’t a Scene, It’s an Arms Race” by Fall Out Boy

“Have you ever needed someone so bad, yeah
Have you ever wanted someone
You just couldn't have
Did you ever try so hard
That your world just fell apart
Have you ever needed someone so bad”

10 begin painful rant:

Why, why, why why why why why? Why? Why do I do this?
Why do I always fall in love with a girl I have absolutely no chance with?

Would it really be so much to ask that I fall for someone who is actually within my reach? I feel like I’m back in high school again. I hated myself then. Grrr.

20 pause painful rant

I’ve found myself looking at the clock when I’m home in the evening. If it’s before 9:00pm, I can still go to the mall. It’s not that I want to shop, exactly, it’s just a good place to go for a walk and look and stuff. A lot of people dislike that mall, but when it’s a block away it doesn’t seem so bad. Part of the issue for most people is that you have to drive, park, walk a few kilometers to get the stores you want, then drive home. Without that drive, it seems so much nicer even during the busy days.

“And if my time don't ever come
For me you're still the one
Damned if I don't, damned if I do
I gotta get a fix on you”

30 bang head on desk

I’ll figure it out, or do something stupid, whichever.