Time, Love, and The Big Mall

Last post: “This Ain’t a Scene, It’s an Arms Race” by Fall Out Boy

“Have you ever needed someone so bad, yeah
Have you ever wanted someone
You just couldn't have
Did you ever try so hard
That your world just fell apart
Have you ever needed someone so bad”

10 begin painful rant:

Why, why, why why why why why? Why? Why do I do this?
Why do I always fall in love with a girl I have absolutely no chance with?

Would it really be so much to ask that I fall for someone who is actually within my reach? I feel like I’m back in high school again. I hated myself then. Grrr.

20 pause painful rant

I’ve found myself looking at the clock when I’m home in the evening. If it’s before 9:00pm, I can still go to the mall. It’s not that I want to shop, exactly, it’s just a good place to go for a walk and look and stuff. A lot of people dislike that mall, but when it’s a block away it doesn’t seem so bad. Part of the issue for most people is that you have to drive, park, walk a few kilometers to get the stores you want, then drive home. Without that drive, it seems so much nicer even during the busy days.

“And if my time don't ever come
For me you're still the one
Damned if I don't, damned if I do
I gotta get a fix on you”

30 bang head on desk

I’ll figure it out, or do something stupid, whichever.

Inappropriate conduct

Last post: “E-Bow the Letter” by REM

“I am an arms dealer.
Fitting you with weapons in the form of words
And don't really care, which side wins
As long as the room keeps singing
That's just the business I'm in.”

Some of you may have heard about a recent event that occurred in a class last week. A well respected, and somewhat feared, instructor broke into a major rant against our class. Critiques are an important aspect of our design instruction. It allows our instructors and our classmates to provide constructive criticism and advice on our work. This has always been an important part of the process as it is the best way to learn.

He had us critique each other’s projects without other comments. He didn’t like our critiques or our projects and really let us have it. His rant was insulting, rude, and completely inappropriate. I admit I was angry, I think we all were, but I’ve had a few days to think about it and now I’m just disappointed. We all heard stories about the guy; He’s scary, but knows his stuff. I was looking forward to a studio class with him and was open to any critiques. The personal insult was not appreciated.

I’m not scared of him, or intimidated, just disappointed. I’ve gotten too old and been through too much crap already in my life to put up with this kind of attitude.

“This ain't a scene, it’s a god damn arms race
I'm not a shoulder to cry on, but I digress.”

The life Eclectic

Last post: "Prey" by Syntax

"Look up, what do you see?
All of you and all of me
Fluorescent and starry
Some of them, they surprise."

My friend Katie asked me what kind of music I listen to. I've found this question harder to answer because my music collection seems to make little sense. iTunes tells me I have 386 different artists ranging from classical to hard rock, and to everything in-between and sideways. The simplest answer is I like a little of everything, but that isn't quite true. I have little to no interest in hip-hop, rap, death metal, and country. I've had musical periods where I've listened to a lot of dance, alternative, pop, rock, etc. In the end, I like what I like, but my bizarre taste knows no bounds.

I found myself at HMV this evening examining their selection of 2/$30, 2/$20, and 2/$10. I found a two pack of American Beauty and The Virgin Suicides as a 2/$20, but was then forced to consider what other title to get? I suppose I could've just paid the $12.99 but a deal's a deal, so I kept looking. Finding little else I ended up with another two-pack...The Mortal Kombat movies! Talk about diametrically opposed. Now, a deal's a deal but I really could've done without Mortal Kombat Annihilation. This is quite possibly the worst movie ever made.

I guess I have the next movie night covered.

"The bus ride, I went to write this, 4:00 a.m.
This letter."

There was a letter once, written for me. Its contents could've changed my life. I never got to read it, though. It was torn up before I even got it, to protect someone else. I often wonder if it was worth the sacrifice. I so often wonder what my life would be like if I had received that letter.